Just another twenty-something girl caught right in the middle of a quarter-life crisis.
 موقع مدونة ...My journey

So I kept my promise and went to a psychologist. To be frank, I didn’t know the specialty until she gave me her card at the end of the session. But what’s important is that she may help me to figure things out and find inner peace
I told her everything, or so I think. She interacted with me, asked questions, commented, which was very good. She said that my problem could be that I have been surrounded by attention, good or bad, my whole life.. It was from family at home and teachers at school. So I was alway...

Dear heart,
Couldn’t you just listen for once? I knew you were naive and stupid, but you reached a whole new level of stupidity with what you were about to do… Didn’t you hear that loud, firm NO? Because I’m pretty sure it was the loudest it could be… What were you thinking? That you knew better? That it could be “it”? Please!
Next time, just shut up and listen to what I have to say. It will save us both countless hours of confusion, false hope and despair..
Nothingly yours,
Ayscel

Made my morning.. Very soothing.

Today is my 24th birthday. He who say birthday say loved ones, candles, cake, gifts and… calling into question of one’s life.
I had what one could call a roller coaster year. I have been up so high and down so low… I had one of the most serious depression episodes I have ever had… I had moments of doubts and despair. At some point, I failed to see a purpose to life.. It felt as if I was trapped in a vicious circle and that nothing good was to expect.. I panicked when I realized, after my graduation, that wh...

اللهم إنى أشكو إليك ضعف قوتى، و قلة حيلتى، وهوانى على الناس
يا أرحم الراحمين
يا أرحم الراحمين
يا أرحم الراحمين
أنت رب المستضعفين، وربــى، إلى من تكلنى .. إلى بعيد يتجهمنى، أم إلى عدو ملكته أمرى، إن لم يكن بك غضب علىَّ فلا أبالى و لكن عافيتك هى أوسع لى
أعوذ بنور وجهك الذى أشرقت به الظلمات، وصلح عليها أمر الدنيا و الآخرة من أن تنزل بى غضبك، أو يحل على سخطك
ولك العتبى حتى ترضى
لك العتبى حتى ترضى
لك العتبى حتى ترضى
ولا حول و لا قوة إلا بالله العلى العظيم

In a completely random, irrelevant matter, I am in love with this:

I would give anything just to find out why I am this miserable…
Could it be that I am so self centered that everything’s only about me? That I make such a big deal of every single thing? That every little ache is transformed into a misery?
Is it something purely biological? Are hormones playing a trick? Am I borderline or bipolar? Am I depressed? Is what I feel even real or is it just my imagination? Am I a drama queen? Am I living in my head?
Is it just weakness? Am I a coward? Do I want to withdraw from e...

I discovered that I sing when I am happy.
I discovered that I can be surprisingly strong or ravagingly weak, depending on I don’t know what.
I discovered that I feel alive when I help someone.
I discovered that I can be beautiful when I smile.
I discovered that I have people in my life who care about me and are in for better or for worse.
I discovered that I forgot how good it is to have a night out with pepole I love.
I discovered that, despite how hard I try to deny it, I do need somebody to love.
I disco...

Came over this as I was reading on the way back home today. How convenient! So this goes to that friend I like so much but can’t quite figure out, most of the times… Confusingly confusing…
“It was an awful moment! I grew more and more gloomy, not about that only; about everything. And I couldn’t see you; couldn’t explain to you; couldn’t have it out…
That was the devilish part of you – this coldness, this woodenness, something very profound in you, which I had felt *again* this evening talking to you; an im...

To M.,
I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I will make it up to you, inshaa Allah…